Multi-tasker. Jack or Jill of all trades...Glutton for punishment??
As a "theatre mum" (or dad!) you have to be super talented yourself. Okay, so you may not be the one performing in front of hundreds of people in a show, and you may not be able to act, you may have two left feet and a voice that sounds like a cat in a washing machine - but you will find yourself having to wear a number of metaphorical hats.
Let me take you through some of the roles that you, as a theatre parent, may be expected to take on....
1. Agent
Firstly you have to get your kid the work in the first place - sign them up to the theatre groups, find the best teachers, seek out the auditions, message those in the know, get yourself known, spend time emailing and messaging. Without your detective work the journey can't even begin and your child will be left just playing on the Xbox or singing into their hairbrushes at home.
2. PA and diary coordinator
So your child gets into the theatre group of their choosing. Yay! The rehearsal schedule comes out. You have to know where to get your child to, and what time, for how long, and what they need. And as show week gets closer it gets more and more complicated. There are more rehearsals at different times and different places. And if they're rehearsing for more than one show at a time it can really become confusing. Get yourself a diary or online calendar or you're stuffed.
3. Counsellor
Yes, despite your child OBVIOUSLY being the next Hugh Jackman or Idina Menzel, auditions may not go well all the time. They may not get the role they had their heart set on. Despite them (and you) being convinced that they are BLATANTLY first choice for Jean Valjean or Elphaba, the casting panel may not agree. And then you have to deal with the fall out when they actually get cast as "whore" or "munchkin number 2". You have to be there for the disappointments as well as the successes. And believe in them and make sure they believe in themselves. It's a tough gig. There will be tears. Be there with the tissues and hugs.
4. Chauffeur
With all the to-ing and fro-ing you will spend a significant amount of time in the car taking your child to said rehearsals and shows, spending numerous hours sitting around waiting for them to finish rehearsals and shows, and having to organise your own life around your child's schedule.
5. Marketing assistant
So, the show dates are confirmed - now we need to get bums on seats - get the crowds in to see your little darling perform. So you need to spend several weeks nay months advertising your child's show. Get the poster up on your Facebook profile. Retweet it on Twitter. Do a quick post on Instagram. Bore all your friends stupid with *child's latest show* spam. You never know, it might help sell a few more tickets. Or it might make all your friends hate you. It's a risk you need to take.
6. Sales Co-ordinator
If any of your friends still like you then they may want you to get tickets on their behalf - so you have to organise who is going with whom, on what date, to which show (matinee or evening) and whether you need to get them full price, senior or child tickets. And get them ordered. It's not simple. It's expensive. But it will be worth it.
7. Costume designer
Shortly before show week you may be asked to sort out some costume for your child to wear in the show. Usually you won't get enough notice to order anything and end up having to frantically search Amazon Prime for anything you can get within one day. If you do happen to have anything that vaguely fits the brief at home then it probably won't fit and you will need to make sure you have a supply of safety pins. But don't worry, you'll learn to "cobble something together" that will do. Charity shops are always good.
8. Make up artist
They all need make up. Even the boys. It's the stage lighting you see. Get some in and learn to do it (confession: I still can't do it).
9. Dance teacher
If you have a smaller child then it may be hard for them to remember the dance routines. My 5 and 7 year old were recently in a show and struggled to remember. The answer? Make sure you watch some rehearsals, learn the dances yourself and practice with them at home! It's fun! And who knows, you could end up being the next Darcy Bussell! Or not......
10. Accounts assistant
You'll need money. Lots of money. Subs, uniform, lessons, costumes, show tickets, fuel money, programmes, raffle tickets. It's not cheap. Never add it all up.
11. Caterer
Providing food for the various rehearsal times. Making packed lunches, even on a Saturday. Supplying lots of bottles of water. And show week providing pretty much the whole of your child's dressing room with food. Because you're nice.
12. Manager
Basically, your theatre kid needs you. They need you to organise them. And though you may get little thanks (which, let's face it, you will) IT IS ALL WORTH IT! When you see their happy little faces on the stage. When you're the proudest parent IN THE WORLD after a show - "See that kid on the stage? I'm his/her mum!" Totally worth it.
So yes. Jack or Jill of all trades, multi tasker and glutton for punishment. But above all, a proud parent of a fantastically talented kid and all round just BLOODY BRILLIANT.
Dedicated to all my theatre mum and dad friends x